
Coping with Life Transitions: Finding Stability Through Times of Change
Learn how to navigate life transitions with resilience, self-compassion, and support from Willow Roots Therapy in Ottawa.
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Autumn is here again. With the end of summer often comes a return to “the norm,” as people shift out of summer mode and back into work or school routines. For some, this transition can feel like a mini “New Year,” complete with the urge to improve ourselves and make positive changes. What if, instead of slipping back into the same patterns, we took this time to intentionally form new, better habits—and let go of the ones that no longer serve us?
In this post, I’d like to share some practical ways to establish good habits and begin breaking unhelpful ones, using the habit loop outlined by James Clear in his book Atomic Habits.
In Atomic Habits, Clear describes a simple but powerful four-step feedback loop that explains how behaviors are triggered and maintained. These steps are Cue, Craving, Response, and Reward. Each represents a point in the process where a behavior can either continue or stop. Understanding these steps gives us a clear path to changing our habits effectively.
A cue is anything that sparks the desire to engage in a behavior. It might be sensory—like seeing an ad, hearing a notification sound, or smelling coffee brewing (as I am while writing this). A cue can also be a time of day, a location, or an emotional state.
To illustrate, let’s use the example of snacking on popcorn. The cue might be the sight of a bowl of popcorn at a party or the smell as it’s being made in the microwave. That sensory signal prompts the next step: craving.
When a cue represents something desirable, it creates a craving. If my friends are raving about how buttery the popcorn is, I might start to want some too. If I dislike popcorn because it gets stuck in my teeth, I won’t crave it at all. Cravings are the emotional pull that drive our habits, whether positive or negative.
The response is the behavior that follows the craving. Suppose my curiosity (and the smell of butter) wins out over the fear of popcorn kernels in my teeth. I walk toward the bowl, reach in, and take a handful. That’s the behavioral response.
Accessibility plays a big role here—if the popcorn is right in front of me, I’m more likely to act on my craving than if it’s across a crowded room. In the same way, when we make positive habits easy to do and bad ones harder to access, we shift our behavior naturally.
The final step is the reward. A positive experience encourages repetition, while a negative one discourages it. If the popcorn tastes as delicious as it smells, I’ll probably reach for more. If it’s stale or underwhelming, I might stop after one handful.
The reward teaches our brain whether the behavior was “worth it.” Over time, these rewards—or lack thereof—determine which habits stick and which fade away.
Once we understand the loop, we can influence each step depending on whether we want to strengthen or weaken a habit.
Clear summarizes these ideas through four qualities: Exposure, Attractiveness, Accessibility, and Satisfaction. By intentionally adjusting these elements, we can make it easier to build habits that help us and harder to repeat those that don’t.
To summarize, the process of creating or breaking habits follows a simple loop: Cue → Craving → Response → Reward. Each step offers an opportunity for awareness and choice. By managing what we expose ourselves to, how attractive we find a behavior, how accessible it is, and how satisfying it feels, we gain real control over our patterns.
As you reflect on your own habits this season, try identifying just one area where you’d like to make a change. Which step in your loop could you adjust first?

Registered Psychotherapist
Andrew is a Registered Psychotherapist who helps individuals and couples navigate challenges such as trauma, anxiety, depression, anger, and communication difficulties. He specializes in relationship therapy and works to support clients through emotional and interpersonal growth.
He draws on a range of therapeutic modalities, including EMDR, Internal Family Systems (IFS), Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT), and the Gottman Method. These approaches help clients rebuild trust, enhance emotional connections, and foster healthier relationships.
With a compassionate, client-centered approach, Andrew collaborates with clients to create personalized treatment plans aligned with their goals. Fluent in English and French, he is committed to making therapy accessible and meaningful for all.
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